She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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