I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
