I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
