Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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