shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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