Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
