We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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