i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize