I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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