I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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