The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
