textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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