Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
