So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
