I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The air was thick with penises
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
