I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
