Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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