i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
