I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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