I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
