I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
