I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
