BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
why do cheetos always look like penises
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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