Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I would ride that face into the sunset
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
