Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
