your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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