we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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