too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
