I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
