so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Im part way to drunk.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
