She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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