i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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