He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
