I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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