i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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