I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
