But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
