Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
