was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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