I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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