GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
