Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
