Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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