You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
