I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize