Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
