You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
