the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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