So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize