After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
