What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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