he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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