Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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