I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize