is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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