I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize