Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
