Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
