saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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