You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
