Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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