drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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