? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
