Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
