It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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