You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
