You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
