I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i drank out of a bidet.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
