I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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