I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
