matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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