I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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